Let's Talk About: Mental Health & Self-Care
Yesterday, October 10th, was World Mental Health Day. According to the World Health Organization, the purpose of this day is to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilize efforts in support of mental health. Fittingly, yesterday I also decided that it's time to mobilize my own efforts in support of improving my own mental health.
I've struggled with health anxiety for many years. More years than I've had gastroparesis, in fact. It started after a severe allergic reaction in 2000 that landed me in the ICU. If we're speaking honestly, I think the stress of that traumatic event is a significant piece of my idiopathic gastroparesis puzzle.
At any rate, anxiety has been a challenge for me for nearly 14 years. Like gastroparesis, it's ebbed and flowed over the years. At times, it barely affected my life. At others, the fear of something terrible happening to me has occupied my every waking moment. Fortunately, when I started implementing my comprehensive management plan for gastroparesis, including a nutrient-rich diet and consistent physical activity, it also seemed to benefit my mental health. Combined with therapy, it was a pretty effective plan. Until about two years ago.
I've shared before about the traumatic experience I had the day my daughter was born. I also dealt with a number of scary medical situations in the months following. Those experiences, combined with the lack of sleep and self-care that typically comes with a newborn, did a number on my mental well-being. In between panic attacks, which sometimes come daily and sometimes only monthly, I've walked around most days on constant alert, with the illogical but unrelenting fear that another life-threatening medical emergency is just around the next corner.
Consequently, the past two years have been the most difficult of my life. More difficult than my experience with gastroparesis, even when I was constantly in pain, nauseous, and malnourished, in part because I now have a little girl to care for and a business to run, and in part because it has felt so isolating.
In many ways, I feel that having (and more specifically learning to live WELL with) gastroparesis has prepared me for this part of my journey. Living well with GP is all about self-care. Overcoming anxiety, at least in my experience, is also significantly dependent on self-care. Unfortunately, I've let my self-care slide over the past two years and both my physical and mental health have been impacted.
Much of the time I used to spend on things like walking, yoga, relaxing, or socializing went to caring for a baby, making all of her food, writing a new book, and growing my business. But a significant amount of my time and energy also went toward the anxiety itself. Focusing on how debilitating it was, how much I wanted to get rid of it, how hard it seemed to get it under control. This, too, reminded me of my journey with GP. All of those early years that I spent battling my reality, wishing that I didn't have GP and searching relentlessly for a magic bullet that would eradicate it from my life.
Clearly that didn't work for me then and it's not working for me now. What has always worked for me is to take ridiculously good care of myself. And so that brings me back to yesterday. Sitting in the Emergency Room due the physical manifestations of anxiety that feel an awful lot like a heart attack. Getting a pep talk from my amazing mother and making the decision to truly start prioritizing self-care once again.
Fortunately, as I mentioned above, my self-care plan for anxiety looks a lot like my self-care plan for GP. It's stuff that I'm already familiar with and used to doing. (Just like a GP-management plan, someone else's mental health management plan may look vastly different than mine and may include medication. Please talk with your doctor if you have any mental health concerns.)
Daily
Yoga: research shows that yoga can have a significant positive effect on a wide variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety and PTSD. From my own experience, I know that when I practice regularly in a live class (as opposed to at home) I feel significantly better in every aspect of my life. So I'm back to my favorite yoga studio, four days a week. I do plan to practice at home twice a week with www.YogaGlo.com, as well.
Walking: In the past, I've called walking my "secret weapon" for managing GP. Turns out it's a proven way to alleviate anxiety, as well. This has been the hardest part of my "old" self-care routine to transfer over to my "new" life as a mama. It's finally happening, though, 30-60 minutes a day, nearly every day. Outside, whenever our western NY weather allows, to soak up the mood boosting benefits of fresh air and sunshine.
Dietary Changes: There are several foods known to help mitigate anxiety. Fortunately, lots of them are gastroparesis-friendly! I'll be including more macadamia nut butter, soaked quinoa, and oolong tea in my nutrient-rich GP-friendly diet. (I'm also juicing more... it just seems to work for me.)
Omega-3: Research indicates that fatty acid deficiency may play a role in mental health disorders, including depression and anxiety. I have many other symptoms of fatty acid deficiency, including dry lips and skin despite drinking large amounts of water, so I'm taking a dose-and-a-half of fish oil daily and eating salmon twice a week. I use Nordic Naturals Lemon Soft Gels. I poke a hole in the gel caps and squeeze the liquid into my morning smoothie. I've tried a lot of ways to supplement with Omega-3 and this works the best for me, with no fishy taste or GI discomfort.
Magnesium Supplement: Magnesium plays a significant role in numerous bodily functions and processes, including regulating anxiety. In fact, it's known as the "calming mineral." Unfortunately chronic stress depletes our body of magnesium, often creating an on-going cycle. Like Omega-3s, I've struggled to find a magnesium supplement that doesn't exacerbate my GI symptoms over the long-term. I'm waiting on ReMag, a supplement designed by Dr. Carolyn Dean, the author of the Magnesium Miracle. It's very concentrated, so you only need a few drops to start. Fingers crossed! In the meantime, I'll be soaking up some magnesium up through my skin with regular Epsom salt baths. Magnesium oil, as I was reminded by a reader, is another great transdermal source.
Guided Relaxation: I've written before about the impacts of stress on our well-being. This is a topic I am incredibly passionate about and I believe that chronic stress is at the core of so many of our physical and mental struggles. It's not just about "reducing stress," though. I have a two year old, she has severe food allergies, I run my own business, I'm managing GP. It's stressful. I'm reducing the stress that I can, of course, (see below) but I also know that I need to mitigate the stress that I'll continue to experience by putting my body into the Relaxation Response. I experience stress daily, so I need to off-set that stress daily. Currently, I'm listening to a guided mediation for 20 minutes each day as a way to do this (in conjunction with yoga).
Good Sleep: Sleep literally cleanses the brain and adequate, high-quality sleep is vital for all areas of well-being. Unfortunately, Lily was a really poor sleeper for the first year of her life. Now that she's sleeping better, it's become one of my top priorities. I go to bed by 10 p.m. and sleep until 6 a.m., barring episodes of teething, growth spurts, and overtired-ness on Lily's part. We keep our bedroom cool and dark to promote restful sleep. I leave my cell phone in another room, opting instead for a simple un-lit digital alarm clock by my bedside. Sometimes it's hard to turn off my brain at bedtime, but practicing guided relaxation in the evening and turning off my phone and computer a few hours prior helps.
Weekly
Acupuncture: Acupuncture has long been thought by practitioners and patients to reduce anxiety, but recent research has found that there are actual biological explanations for the benefit. I currently get acupuncture once every 7-10 days. My acupuncturist is working to both reduce anxiety and strengthen my digestion. The long-term results are yet to be seen, but I feel incredibly calm and peaceful when I leave that appointment each week.
Therapy: I've been seeing my therapist for over two years and I continue to talk with her once a week. Having someone who's job it is to listen to my worries and challenges, without judgement, and to help me figure out proactive ways to deal with them has been invaluable.
Play & Fun: This has been, hands down, the hardest thing for me to implement. (Tellingly, I completely left it off my first publication of this post!) Play for play's sake can relieve anxiety, reduce stress, and paradoxically lead to increased productivity. For many of us, especially those of us who are Type-A and desperately trying to solve a problem (gastroparesis, anxiety, etc.), we never take a break to just free out minds and engage in the present. The goal is to take time to play freely, whatever that means to you, without guilt. Just let go, be present, and have some fun. No cell phone, no clock, no end goal in mind. Still working on this one...
And, for a while...
Lastly, the one that affects you, my wonderful readers: cutting back on my work commitments in order to take better care of myself. I may record a podcast or write you a blog post here and there, but the things on my self-care list above are going to come first. They have to.
As I remind my clients and program participants while we're working through these very same concepts: respecting my current limitations and putting myself first now, will likely reduce my limitations and make me a more present mama and more effective coach down the road. If I continue on as I am, pushing through when it's really not working for me, I'm likely to stay stuck in sub-optimal health for a long, long time.
And so, in observation of World Health Day, I am putting all of this out there, without shame or embarrassment, in hopes that it will help me and maybe someone else. As Dr. Christiane Northrup says,
“I am not responsible FOR this condition, but I am responsible TO this condition.”
To that end, it's time to mobilize!