Have You Been "Hexed?"
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When I read about "medical hexing" in the book Mind Over Medicine, it resonated with me so deeply that I nearly jumped out of my chair.
“In his book Spontaneous Healing, Dr. Andrew Weil argues that physicians may unwittingly engage in what he calls “medical hexing.” When we pronounce patients with “chronic,” “incurable,” or “terminal” illnesses, we may be programming their subconscious minds with negative beliefs and activating stress responses that do more harm than good.”
Every single time I share a story of someone who has recovered from gastroparesis on my Facebook page, I see responses like this:
Isn’t it incurable?
My doctor said there was no cure!
I was told I’d have this forever and I just have to deal with the symptoms.
Yep, we've been hexed.
Now I'm not talking about magical spells, witchcraft, or anything woo-woo. I'm talking about messages that we receive and internalize, which in turn lead us to more worry, fear, and stress.
The Stress Response
Before we go any further, let's review the Stress Response, our body's natural reaction to danger. You may also know this as the Fight or Flight Response. When the body goes into this mode, stress hormones like cortisol flood the blood stream, the sympathetic nervous system takes over, and all processes that are unnecessary for immediate survival shut down (including digestion).
The body's natural repair mechanisms, the ones that allow us to heal or recover when something goes awry, also shut down. In fact, studies have shown that people with higher cortisol levels have wounds that heal more slowly than those with lower cortisol levels. If it happens on the outside of the body with visible wounds, it only makes sense that it's happening inside the body, too...with dysfunction in the GI tract and mixed-up messages in the nervous system.
Now the Stress Response itself is not bad. It’s totally normal and has been essential to our survival as humans. All of these changes are meant to literally help us fight for our lives or run for our lives. When the danger has passed, the level of stress hormones decreases, our parasympathetic nervous system takes back over, proper functioning is restored to all systems, and there's no problem.
It only becomes a “problem” when we start constantly living in the Stress Response. Consider this: the Stress Response is not only triggered by real, immediate danger... it's triggered by thoughts, too. When we're caught up in anxious, stressful, worried thoughts, our brain assumes we're in danger. It flips on the Stress Response, releasing stress hormones, shutting down a whole bunch of important processes. See the problem?
This was a huge "a-ha!" for me. When I learned about the Stress Response, I realized that I'd been in it pretty much since the minute I was diagnosed.
I Was “Hexed”
When I was first diagnosed with gastroparesis, I was immediately told it was "incurable" and that I would only be able to manage the symptoms. Talk about stress. My mind immediately started screaming, "I'm only 23 years old! How am I going to live like this for the rest of my life?!" In response my body kicked on the Stress Response. Pumped out cortisol, further impaired my digestion, and put a stop to any repair work that might have already been going on.
That wasn't the end of it. I went home and started scouring the internet. I joined message boards and forums where people were repeating not only that the condition was "incurable," but other things they'd heard like it was "potentially fatal." What?!!?
Looking at those messages -- which are skewed, by the way, since the people living WELL and those who have recovered are off doing other things -- it seemed as if I was destined for years of misery and probably even a feeding tube.
There goes that Stress Response, again! But it didn't even end there. I then took those scary messages and started repeating them to myself, certain that the only way I'd get better was to find a miracle worker or a miracle cure. I found neither, of course. What I did find was more hexing. Messages from doctors like, "come back when you need a feeding tube."
Stress Response? You betcha!
It's no surprise that I just got sicker and sicker. Soon I wasn't able to work. I was losing an alarming amount of weight. I couldn't sleep. I was in and out of the hospital every other week. I was depressed. I just kept getting more and more anxious. And no wonder! My body was completely overwhelmed with a build-up of stress hormones. It simply could not function properly anymore, let alone heal itself. All because my mind had made up stories based on what I’d heard and read… and I believed them.
Miracle Cure
“As a physician, here is what I’ve learned: somewhere in the intersection of hope, optimism, nurturing care, and full partnership with the empowered patient, a recipe for healing lies.”
Now I don't believe that the doctors who use words like "incurable" mean any harm. They're being honest about the fact that they medically cannot cure this condition. But if you ask me, there's a big, BIG difference between "no medical cure" and "never goes away” or “never gets better.”
While I've always believed that I would get better someday, I was waiting on a miracle to make it happen. What I didn't realize was that I had a miracle waiting on me. The body has a natural ability to heal, both physically and emotionally. But we have to support that natural ability by getting out of the Stress Response.
Because I truly believe that this has played a significant role in the fact that I have not fully recovered nearly 10 years after I was diagnosed, I've spent a lot of time in the past year or so researching how to counteract the Stress Response and how to support the body's natural ability to heal. Here's what I've found and what I'm putting into practice myself:
Embrace Hope
Fact: there are people who recover from gastroparesis. I don't mean their symptoms go into "remission," a term that I've seen popping up more and more lately, I mean they get better. All better. Unfortunately, most of these people aren't posting their stories online or making videos about their recovery... they're out enjoying it! That's why I make sure to post those things on my Facebook page when I see them.
Now when you see those things on my Facebook page, please don't say, "wish that could be me." That's the same as telling yourself, "Other people can get better, but I can't." Embrace those stories as examples of hope and possibility. Come back to them when you need to put your mind at ease.
Remember, this isn't about "woo-woo" Law of Attraction type stuff ... it's about physiology and science. Empowering thoughts put your mind at ease and that allows your body to do what it needs to do, whether that means regulating the muscles in your GI tract or repairing your nervous system over time.
Beware of Hexers
Is "hexers" even a word? Either way, it's important to be aware of people who may be "hexing" you with disempowering, hopeless, stressful, or fearful messages. Especially people whom you trust and those you believe know "the truth." That includes doctors, of course, but also support groups, loved ones, and others with gastroparesis.
I recently heard someone say that her doctor treats her like a "criminal." He blatantly regards her as difficult and a nuisance. Think that's triggering her stress response every time she sees him? I sure do. So, I encouraged her to look for another doctor, if at all possible. To find someone who not only treats her like a human being with feelings and a future, but someone who can put her at ease, allow her to relax, and help activate her body's natural healing mechanisms. If you're in a similar situation, my advice would be the same.
In terms of support groups and message boards, two things. First, if you're frequenting any place that makes you feel more helpless, more depressed, more fearful, or angrier each time you visit, that's not support. I've talked to a lot of people who have recovered from gastroparesis and a good chunk of them said getting away from groups that were full of anxiety or competitive suffering is one of the things that helped them. Second, please remember that we all need to take responsibility for the energy we put out into the world... for our good and for the good of others.
Watch Your Words
As I said, we can hex ourselves, too. The words that we use and the stories that we repeat about ourselves, and gastroparesis can either fill us with anxiety, triggering the Stress Response, or fill us with hope and gratitude, allowing our bodies to relax into a fully functioning and even healing state. Start paying attention to your words. You might be surprised.
Throughout this round of the Living (Well!) with Gastroparesis Program, I've noticed myself using the term "chronic illness" fairly often (definition: a long-lasting illness that be controlled but not cured). I had no idea how much I was repeating this message to myself and others, but now that I'm aware of it I'm working on changing how I think and speak.
Practice the Relaxation Response
One of the easiest and fastest ways to turn off the Stress Response is to actively practice the Relaxation Response. Pioneered by Harvard's Dr. Herbert Benson, this lowers stress hormones, put the parasympathetic nervous system back in control, returns proper functioning to bodily systems, and activates the body's healing mechanisms.
Simply find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and notice your breath. Choose a word or phrase that resonates with you or your faith. Maybe love, peace, thank you, or a special prayer. Each time you exhale, repeat this word or phrase to yourself either silently or out loud. Do this for 10-20 minutes once or twice a day.
Though this is simple, it's not necessarily easy. Our minds may race. That's okay. Simply notice your thoughts. You might even identify them, saying, "thinking... planning... worrying..." As the thoughts come, just let them go. Don't start making up stories about them or fixating on how "good" or "bad" you're doing at this practice. Continue returning to your breath and your word or phrase.
It's about Healing
Once I realized the impact that the Stress Response has on physical health and healing, my priorities, my focus, and even my thoughts began to shift. I no longer consider myself to have a "management plan," so much as a "healing plan." That's my goal, after all: healing. Not just for me but for you, too.
** And I hope this encourages you to think about the ways that you may have been "hexed," the effects that those resulting stress responses may have had on your journey toward living WELL and getting WELL, and the ways in which you can reverse the process, allowing your body to relax... and maybe even heal.
**NOTE: I believe that we teach what we need to learn. When I first started this work, I needed a management plan so that I could alleviate my physical symptoms and nourish my body enough to allow my mind to relax. These days I have a solid management plan based largely in self-care. My physical symptoms are significantly better, and my body is really quite healthy.
What I'm focused on now is healing, recovery, and moving forward, so I'll probably be talking about that quite a bit. I know there are lots of you there with me! But please know that if you're at a point in your journey where you need to find a way to feel better, there are many, many resources available to you to help you build your own comprehensive management plan. You'll find a great deal here on my blog and even more in my book, Living (Well!) with Gastroparesis.